Sat 20 Oct 2018, 15:00
Welcome to the Great British Moanathon……………sorry that should read Great British Yawnathon
Great British Expectations were expected as the Scouse Yikkers travelled West Young Man to take on the mighty Green and Gold. Only Dickens could envisage the dour Victorian era tragedy that was to follow
The scene was set when Morph failed to get first down in the Scikkers half and the TLA* got to sniff the Park half – lord only knows what Simo had eaten on Friday night. Thankfully for TLA they didn’t have to endure Simo’s supper for long and Morph powered away to score.
The ref held centre stage and was advised wonderfully on his dress sense by the UDA IRA LSH with major fashion statements like how to manage an untidy scrum, the benefits of curve ball throw-ins, how non-existent knock-ons add to the thrill of the game and how Green and Gold was so last year.
Normal service was resumed when Albert Tatlock made a half-break and with the LSH defenders concentrating more on trying to pick his pockets rather than tackle him he had to keep running. The Park players stood their ground taking in the fresh October air (Simo had been subbed off) with one wag shouting ‘Run like the Lion’s after you Albert’.
In a Twist to the general flow of the game HSL scored just before half time to give themselves a decent break score of 12-5.
Immediately after the break Park broke down the right and after Robber Hanson had demolished a couple of the hoopla boys the ball was recovered. Merry Jerry Darling took the ball in front of the posts sold a dummy to his right, then to the left, then to the right, then to the left and he still hadn’t moved and after the scikkers had run and dived in all directions he wandered between the posts to score. Morph converted then shortly after added a penalty.
In the dying seconds Shylock Holmes drove the ball in between the posts to be confronted by Darth Vader the TLA Milliner who very politely enquired ‘Excuse me Sir, may I help you adjust your cap’. From the subsequent ruck Capt. Ned drove over the line planting his face firmly in Sam Tomkins crotch with the TLA tubby ten helping the ref and enquiring ‘What about the Knock-on Sir, surely you saw it amongst all the sequins and glitter’. I can believe that men of a different persuasion have pet terms for putting their chops into another man’s nether region but ‘Knock-on’ does seem a bit quaint. To be fair to Capt. Ned he did knock-on a couple of times early in the game so maybe as the Buzzcocks put it ‘It’s a habit that sticks’
Footnote - You couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor Scikker full back……well he was poor but worse than that he looked like Samantha Tomkins
* - TLA – Three Letter Acronym – Breathe deep and slow and think
Great British Expectations were expected as the Scouse Yikkers travelled West Young Man to take on the mighty Green and Gold. Only Dickens could envisage the dour Victorian era tragedy that was to follow
The scene was set when Morph failed to get first down in the Scikkers half and the TLA* got to sniff the Park half – lord only knows what Simo had eaten on Friday night. Thankfully for TLA they didn’t have to endure Simo’s supper for long and Morph powered away to score.
The ref held centre stage and was advised wonderfully on his dress sense by the UDA IRA LSH with major fashion statements like how to manage an untidy scrum, the benefits of curve ball throw-ins, how non-existent knock-ons add to the thrill of the game and how Green and Gold was so last year.
Normal service was resumed when Albert Tatlock made a half-break and with the LSH defenders concentrating more on trying to pick his pockets rather than tackle him he had to keep running. The Park players stood their ground taking in the fresh October air (Simo had been subbed off) with one wag shouting ‘Run like the Lion’s after you Albert’.
In a Twist to the general flow of the game HSL scored just before half time to give themselves a decent break score of 12-5.
Immediately after the break Park broke down the right and after Robber Hanson had demolished a couple of the hoopla boys the ball was recovered. Merry Jerry Darling took the ball in front of the posts sold a dummy to his right, then to the left, then to the right, then to the left and he still hadn’t moved and after the scikkers had run and dived in all directions he wandered between the posts to score. Morph converted then shortly after added a penalty.
In the dying seconds Shylock Holmes drove the ball in between the posts to be confronted by Darth Vader the TLA Milliner who very politely enquired ‘Excuse me Sir, may I help you adjust your cap’. From the subsequent ruck Capt. Ned drove over the line planting his face firmly in Sam Tomkins crotch with the TLA tubby ten helping the ref and enquiring ‘What about the Knock-on Sir, surely you saw it amongst all the sequins and glitter’. I can believe that men of a different persuasion have pet terms for putting their chops into another man’s nether region but ‘Knock-on’ does seem a bit quaint. To be fair to Capt. Ned he did knock-on a couple of times early in the game so maybe as the Buzzcocks put it ‘It’s a habit that sticks’
Footnote - You couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor Scikker full back……well he was poor but worse than that he looked like Samantha Tomkins
* - TLA – Three Letter Acronym – Breathe deep and slow and think
